i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong
This is like a round of cards against humanity
virus followers are still followers and i expect every one of them to reblog my selfies
Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.
Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.
Took a bunch of candles from my church’s Christmas service because I am CRIMINAL
MERRY CHRISTMAS SUCKAS LIGHT IT UP
But my friend you left so early! Surely something slipped your mind… You forgot I gave these also! Would you leave the best behind?
Ive never laughed so hard at a post
imagine: a court system where you do not know the gender, race, sexual orientation, wealth, name, ect. of the person being charged
think of how different the punishments would be
dont be a fucking music snob holy crap some people like the beatles others like nicki minaj like shut the fuck up theyre just different types of noises ur not superior for liking one and not the other
achilles is that kid who takes gym class too seriously
I’m good at math. U + I = 69
Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10
No. U + I = 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Cause we got chemistry.
for god’s sake why all these people are so smooth omg